Hello my lovelies! Sometimes I honestly can’t believe that I’m twenty-four years old. When I was twelve and my friends used to talk about their older brothers and sisters who were in their twenties I used to just sit there gobsmacked thinking that they’re on their way with their jobs and starting families and finally getting their lives (and shit) together. You would think that growing up as an only child would have imbued me with some sort of independence or established a kind of maturity, but if anything I’m actually worse because I was coddled and cocooned from any real-life challenges. I mean, to this day I don’t even arrange appointments by myself – dentist, doctor, hairdresser? Yeah, they’re all orchestrated by my mum because I’m too scared to talk to them on the phone for fear of them asking me a question I don’t know the answer to and responding instead with, “Errmmm… OKIDON’TKNOWTHANKYOUFORYOURTIMEBYE”
1/ I sleep ALL the time, like I’m practically a newborn. I nap every day because I honestly feel like I need a reprieve from real life, and whilst we’re on the subject of sleeping, I also consider getting up between 9-10am as early.
2/ There’s a designated space in my room for stuff, I call it “the chair”. After a long and hard day at work or at university, who honestly has the time or effort to put away their clothes properly? Well, the chair’s the answer to your prayers, dear readers! It’s also fun because you can play chair jenga on it too to see how much clothes it’ll take to topple it over.
3/ When I have to call up my parents and ask for help with the smallest of tasks. True story, I once had to call my mum up in an emergency because I didn’t know how to boil an egg for a lady I was making lunch for – who knew that poached and boiled are two completely different things!?
4/ I like to live my life vicariously through the use of GIFs because sometimes it’s just too difficult to portray your feelings through words. Animal GIFs in particular give me life because what could be better than video evidence of a corgi attacking a cabbage?
5/ I’m not yet an adult because I simply don’t act or speak like one. I have toys and plushes and games all strewn around my apartment and descend into a panicked frenzy if I can’t find one of them. I also like to put on weird voices and quote movies because talking proper formal English is for losers.
6/ Why does there always seem to be too much month at the end of my money? Try hard as I might to organise my spendings and plan my budgets, I’m forever in a state of mind where I should “treat myself” – oh, I finally managed to get out of bed and dress myself *logs onto Asos to reward self*
7/ I’m legit counting down the days until I can have a massive mansion to keep all the animals I’m going to have because I’m genuinely more excited about my potential future pets than potential future kids.
8/ No matter where I travel to around the world, nowhere will ever compare to Disneyland. Oh, you’re going for a nice, relaxed city break to Bruges? WELL I’M AWAY TO THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH, BITCH.
9/ Sometimes I have all these good intentions to go out and buy vegetables and fruit and a juicer but actually just end up getting a takeaway because cooking and preparing food (with the added effort of cleaning up the dishes when you’re done) = nope.
10/ I like to put off paying bills for as long as possible because who doesn’t want to live on the edge? Usually I also have no idea what anyone’s talking about when they mention mortgage bonds or financial investments or pension schemes so I just like to curl up in a little ball and ignore it for as long as possible.